I don't know. I don't mind realize this feeling. But sometimes, the thing that we expected to happen never come to reality. How sad, how poor, how sick. It is true. I let all of my feeling for him to be disappears into dust. I realize that I am not a proper women to stand beside him, to hold his hand, and get her sweetest smile. It is just a kind of politeness.
Hahahaha....
Baka, why i felt this emptiness when watched XXXHolic Rou part 2. In the end of the episode when Doumeki Shizuka gave an invitation for Kimihiro Watanuki, a wedding invitation. How, grateful but poured sorrow in my palm.He will marry Tsuyori Kohane. A girl who i guess to be Watanuki's. He doesn't mind. But the main point is that I can't do anything with my feeling. It drove me crazy and addicted but to loose it difficult enough.
Oh, God....
I don't know, please help me....
Thank you god for your kindness, and bless me to meet him sooner. A man who hold my hands, who give me his sweetest smile and warmth. Who will protect my honor, who regard my feeling. He is the best man i ever meet. And i want to be his respected lover who wipe away his restlessness, his pain and sorrow, who can be trust and take care him. Amen.
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